Here at The Shopping Friend, we do things a little bit differently than other stylists when it comes to image.
We go deeper for you. We are not just about fashion, accessories, or the latest style trends. We don’t only tell you what is “in” this season, how clothes are supposed to fit your body, what colors look best on you, and how to put together a super hot outfit. That's all well and good and helpful we know. But we give you more.
We go down the psychological image rabbit hole with you. So you can discover fears, thoughts, actions, or simple lack of knowledge regarding image that could be possibly stalling your success. Success in relationships. Success at work. Success with business. Success with clients. Whatever success means to you.
We don't learn this in school. Unfortunately, it's another testament to the lack in our education system. We don't ever get taught the extreme importance of image communication in our lives. Which is such a shame. It's how we interact with people on a daily basis! You'd think that would be important enough for schools to teach. But like many things that are really important in real, day to day life, our schools fail to teach it.
So, we bring you savvy info that most people don't get. We dive deeper into the details about image that can improve your life. And we give you actionable tools to achieve your desired image goals.
If learned and used properly, the right image and style can bring you more success, more business, more clients, a better job, love and relationship, or more of whatever it is you are striving for. Because there is something much more significant going on than just a change of clothes.
This is about communication. The lifeblood of human and business interaction. And your image is part of the most important tool human beings use to communicate. That tool is your body.
You actually need to know two languages for successful communication.
To successfully communicate, you need to have a strong grasp of two languages. No, I don’t mean like Chinese or French. Although, kind of! I am talking languages where you need to learn how to "read", understand, interpret, and "speak" clearly to be effective. So in a way, yes, these languages are exactly like a spoken language.
The first is verbal language, also known as words. The second is non-verbal language, which consists of your facial expressions, your body language, your tone of voice, and your style expression.
Did you know that most communication is 93% non-verbal and 7% verbal? In some romantic situations, it’s 100% non-verbal! So what your body movements, facial expressions, and image are projecting are far more powerful than the words you are saying!
The kicker is that most of us spend so much more time worrying about what we say rather than how we say it. Mistake. That goes for dating, meetings, business presentations, relationship discussions, etc…The most influential message that is being relayed is mostly coming from our bodies and not our vocal cords.
I almost screwed up my first date with my boyfriend due to mixed non-verbal messages.
When I went on my first date with my boyfriend (who wasn’t my boyfriend yet), I had just gotten off a plane in Singapore and was tired. I couldn’t be bothered to take a shower. When I chatted with him on the phone discussing when he was picking me up I actually said that I didn’t want to shower. His response to me? “You better shower!”
I ended up not showering, but I did wash my face. That sent a non-verbal message that I wasn’t really trying to impress. That doesn’t make a person feel good because I’m essentially saying that they’re not important enough to make the effort for.
Fortunately, I more than made up for that blunder! Our first and second dates were heavy with chemistry and magic and all my other non-verbal (smiles, laughter, touching, facing him, openness, sharing, etc…) and verbal messages were positive!
Actors have to train to effectively use their communication instrument – their bodies.
Think about one of your favorite movies. Imagine if the actors were only concerned about the words. Not their emotions, not the tone of their voice, not their costumes, not their facial expressions and body movements. Just the words. How unmoving would Titanic or Braveheart be? Or even the most recent movie, Guardians of the Galaxy.
In Guardians of the Galaxy, what made Chris Pratt’s character, Peter Quill, so funny, was not the words from the script. It was actor, Chris Pratt. His tone of voice. His verbal pacing. His facial expressions. His body language. Him. His body. When we watch him, most of the communication we’re receiving from him sitting in that movie theater is almost all non-verbal! Without the actor’s embodiment (see? Body), it’s just words on a page. And no one wants to watch that.
Knowing how to communicate your non-verbal “speech” clearly and concisely can bring you higher success.
Now, I’m not saying you need to go through all the extensive training that actors do to speak that non-verbal language fluently. That’s not necessary. But the more you understand and implement proper non-verbal communication, you will see your sphere of influence in your personal and professional life expand like you wouldn’t believe.
If you’re not speaking your non-verbal language well, you could be “saying” things about yourself that you are not intending and it could be causing blocks in your life that you don’t even realize.
How fluent are you in speaking your image and body language effectively, clearly, and influentially? How fluent are you in understanding other people’s body language towards you? Or do you feel like you’re in a land of foreign speaking people and need to learn the non-verbal language? Tell us your experiences with image and non-verbal communication!