There are people who think that fashion is shallow. I know, I didn't believe it either. They think that fashion and clothes don't contribute much to us as human beings and certainly don't contribute much to society. Okay, fine. Fashion gurus are no Albert Einstein or cancer curers. But those who work in fashion and styling do serve a beneficial purpose to mankind. They provide awesome expressions of communication for us. Which is healthy for our psyches.


Yep. That is God's honest truth. Clothes can help you communicate what you're feeling or thinking.They can tell your story. Not all of us are great at telling people exactly what is on our mind. Maybe you believe that you're going to one day be your boss's boss. You might not be a loud, vocal person about it. But I can tell you that if you really believe it, your actions, the way you hold yourself, and your "dress to impress" attitude are your self-fulfilling prophecy. 

Maybe you feel like the sexiest goddess in the city. I'll tell you that that fit body (from loads of exercise) with the tight little number you're wearing, with those dainty high heels, is certainly singing your emotional confident state all over town.

Or, perhaps you feel uncertain about yourself. Perhaps you're not really sure what you want in life or you subconsciously don't feel like you deserve the best. Well, those ill fitting pants with the neutral colored top that's too baggy for anyone to have any idea of what's going on underneath, definitely shows others you want to blend in. Congratulations. You probably are blending in so well with the wall, no one has noticed you're wearing clothes. Or that you're there. If this is you, fashion is the least of your worries. Deeper issues of self-esteem should be addressed.

Our self-esteem plays a large part in feeling confident and comfortable in our clothes. Understanding how we feel about ourselves is helpful too. You must feel confident having true expression of yourself through your clothes. That takes guts. Courage. Bravado. Alright, alright, it's not like you're Christopher Columbus or something.  Once you've found your wardrobe "voice" and feel the freedom to "say" your true physical clothing message, you'll love the confidence that comes with it.

For example, if you feel sexy and provocative on the inside and that is how you've dressed on the outside, you're in harmony. If you feel warm, snuggly, and cozy inside (yourself, not inside your house) and you dress for a cozy, lounge day, you're living in Harmonyville. If you're super laid back and your style is casual, comfy, and light, welcome to the City of Harmony. If you're dapper, sophisticated, and debonair dressed in a custom suit fit just right with great hardware and the perfect patterned shirt and shoes...well, you might as well just be King of Harmony Village. You get the picture. Hopefully.

Unfortunately, too many people haven't done the introspection to know how they feel or want to look. So they default to what they think others expect of them or go to drab. When you dress to "satisfy" others, you will never feel good. First, you'll never really know what others want of you (most likely nothing, they're focused on their own darn problems and fashion). Second, when you don't dress to communicate your message, your body will feel the disconnect between what you're feeling inside and how you've wrongly expressed it outside. That causes uneasiness and discomfort.

If you don't feel confident, happy, or excited in your clothes, it is entirely possible you are choosing pieces for the wrong reasons. Wrong reasons could include: 1. you saw it in a magazine and it looked good on the model so...why not? 2. your mom told you to wear it, 3. your boss/girlfriend/boyfriend/guy at the gas station told you to wear it, 4. you think it will impress others, 5. you think that the brand name is important, 6. you just needed to buy something! 7. I could go on but any answer except  "I genuinely like it and it expresses my feelings about my mood and myself" will just be dead wrong.

Choose pieces that speak your personality or where you want to go in life. Of course, there is always room for style improvements. For example, if you don't understand true fit, fabrics, proper sizing, colors, and what looks good for your body shape - that's the next level that a personal stylist can help you with. Take all those factors, enhance them with clothes that you enjoy that "speak" what you're thinking and feeling, and you're golden!

Posted on May 23, 2014 .